Seeing as one of my new year's resolutions was to read a book every two weeks, I thought it appropriate to share my feelings on all of the books I've read so far. However, I decided against that when I thought about how little I wanted to talk about books I did not enjoy. So, just the good ones, then. I thought about that a little more and figured out I'd probably sound all preachy if I posted one of those "Oh, you haven't read that?" posts. That's not to say I'm not pretentious and judgmental; just that I feel slightly guilty about it.
In any case, I settled on books I thoroughly enjoyed that were adapted for the screen. If interested, go read the book! If lazy, see the movie and tell people you read the book.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
While the movie differs significantly from the book, both are wonderfully entertaining. The film's casting was terrific with Martin Freeman (of BBC's The Office) as Arthur Dent, Mos Def brilliant as Ford Prefect, and Sam Rockwell as the incredibly hip Zaphod Beeblebrox.
Catch-22
I first read it during my junior year of high school and it's still my favorite book to read and re-read. To my discredit, I've never seen the film, but it features an all-star cast including Alan Arkin, Art Garfunkel, Bob Newhart, Martin Sheen, Jon Voight, and Orson Welles.
Breakfast of Champions
If you claim you've "read Vonnegut" because you read Slaughterhouse-Five in your freshman lit class at (insert large, impersonal state university), you're deluded. Breakfast of Champions is fantastic. And though the film leaves much to be desired, it's definitely still worth seeing (if you can't be bothered to read for a few hours).
Into the Wild
I owe much to my high school English teacher Mr. Horan for introducing me to Krakauer's writing during my freshman year. While it is a non-fiction work, Into the Wild grips like a novel telling a story of tragedy, ambition, and spirit (I just slapped myself for typing that). I've heard the movie is terrific, but I haven't watched it yet... despite it sitting next to my DVD player for 2 weeks. Sorry, Netflix. I'll send it back soon.
Note: Read Under the Banner of Heaven if you enjoyed Into the Wild.
That's all I've got for now. Go read. Go watch. I'll do the same.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Check It Out
I stumbled upon this today. Enjoy.
http://rolandsaintlaurent.blogspot.com/2008/05/tips-for-dealing-with-end-of-world.html
http://rolandsaintlaurent.blogspot.com/2008/05/tips-for-dealing-with-end-of-world.html
Monday, June 16, 2008
Things You Should Try in 2008: Part 2
The list goes on.
garfield minus garfield
Ever noticed how Jon Arbuckle is the most depressing comic character ever? You will now.
http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/
Love it.
Gorgonzola Buffalo Burgers
Get creative with burgers. Buffalo meat is wonderful for burgers (it tends to get dry quickly in steak form if you don't keep a vigilant eye on temperature) and when combined with gorgonzola, my goodness. Absolutely delicious. I recommend sweet onions and fresh spinach leaves to balance the saltiness of the cheese, but do whatever you want with it. Your burgers should be unique.
Recipe from Whole Foods
Note: You can get ground buffalo meat at Whole Foods. And no, it does not come from endangered bison. These are farm-raised, free range, grass fed bison. Enjoy.
My Secret Public Journal - Mike Birbiglia
Go get this album. It's ridiculously funny.
garfield minus garfield
Ever noticed how Jon Arbuckle is the most depressing comic character ever? You will now.
http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/
Love it.
Gorgonzola Buffalo Burgers
Get creative with burgers. Buffalo meat is wonderful for burgers (it tends to get dry quickly in steak form if you don't keep a vigilant eye on temperature) and when combined with gorgonzola, my goodness. Absolutely delicious. I recommend sweet onions and fresh spinach leaves to balance the saltiness of the cheese, but do whatever you want with it. Your burgers should be unique.
Recipe from Whole Foods
Note: You can get ground buffalo meat at Whole Foods. And no, it does not come from endangered bison. These are farm-raised, free range, grass fed bison. Enjoy.
My Secret Public Journal - Mike Birbiglia
Go get this album. It's ridiculously funny.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Things You Shouldn't Try in 2008
Following up on my list of Things You Should Try in 2008, this is a list of things to avoid trying when possible. While I discourage some of these items/activities based on experience, a couple are based purely on speculation (and common sense).
Those Chicken Wraps from Either McDonald's or Wendy's
What a total letdown. Both places incorporate warm chicken surrounded by cold lettuce, cold cheese, and a tortilla (not warm). The tortilla ends up getting cold from the the cheese and lettuce and the chicken ends up lukewarm at best by the time you get it out of the wrapper resulting in immense disappointment. Sack up and go get a real wrap from a deli.
Blowing Through Your Paycheck
I've done this twice. Once around here and again in New York. While I don't recommend completely spending your paycheck on a trip somewhere, I don't discourage it. There's no harm with having some out of town fun once in a while. Just don't make it a habit. However, if you're spending your entire paycheck around where you live, something's seriously wrong. Chances are you're drinking too much, eating too much expensive food, and buying too many unnecessary things.
Crack
Just don't.
Walking Up Six Flights of Stairs When an Elevator Is Nearby
I made this mistake in New York because I didn't realize an elevator was nearby. I was also carrying a 25 pound backpack and a small suitcase. Lesson learned. Always look for an elevator. If one is not present, complain, sit around waiting for one to be put in, then give up and go somewhere else when you realize nobody heard you complain and nobody would care if they did hear you.
Note: It's acceptable to climb up to 3 flights of stairs. But not often.
As I continually do things I shouldn't, additions to this list will pop up periodically.
Those Chicken Wraps from Either McDonald's or Wendy's
What a total letdown. Both places incorporate warm chicken surrounded by cold lettuce, cold cheese, and a tortilla (not warm). The tortilla ends up getting cold from the the cheese and lettuce and the chicken ends up lukewarm at best by the time you get it out of the wrapper resulting in immense disappointment. Sack up and go get a real wrap from a deli.
Blowing Through Your Paycheck
I've done this twice. Once around here and again in New York. While I don't recommend completely spending your paycheck on a trip somewhere, I don't discourage it. There's no harm with having some out of town fun once in a while. Just don't make it a habit. However, if you're spending your entire paycheck around where you live, something's seriously wrong. Chances are you're drinking too much, eating too much expensive food, and buying too many unnecessary things.
Crack
Just don't.
Walking Up Six Flights of Stairs When an Elevator Is Nearby
I made this mistake in New York because I didn't realize an elevator was nearby. I was also carrying a 25 pound backpack and a small suitcase. Lesson learned. Always look for an elevator. If one is not present, complain, sit around waiting for one to be put in, then give up and go somewhere else when you realize nobody heard you complain and nobody would care if they did hear you.
Note: It's acceptable to climb up to 3 flights of stairs. But not often.
As I continually do things I shouldn't, additions to this list will pop up periodically.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Tips for Being a Decent Person: #3
#3: Admitting when you're wrong.
While it is a widely accepted fact that Decent People are almost never wrong, we occasionally slip up. A couple examples include:
While it is a widely accepted fact that Decent People are almost never wrong, we occasionally slip up. A couple examples include:
- Bill Clinton lying about getting a hummer.
- 80% of Robert Downey, Jr.'s life.
- Robin Ventura charging the mound after getting beaned by Nolan Ryan.
I am no exception. My picks for the 2008 Kentucky Derby were atrocious. I apologize to my bank account for not betting on Big Brown. It was a silly, misguided decision fueled by a bit of hubris. I've since realized that while I am indeed a sports genius, I lack sufficient knowledge of horse racing to be making picks and suggesting them to other people. For that, I am deeply sorry. And of course, now I can tell you not to do what I did. Because I'm a Decent Person and it's my reponsibility to do so.
Note: It's still acceptable to put some money down on ponies and lose. Just make sure you admit to it and regret it later. Also, while I'll no longer be making suggestions for horse races, don't rule out Big Brown to take the Triple Crown.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Tips for Being a Decent Person: #2
#2 - Bet on horses occasionally.
Yes, occasional gambling is part of being a decent person. No, cockfighting is not included.
Horse racing is the Sport of Kings. Think about it this way: Kings are pretty decent people. And just look at all the well-dressed racists that attend the Kentucky Derby each year in suits (seersucker is wonderfully appropriate) and large, fancy hats. Racism and rampant alcoholism aside, these are decent people.
I know making it down to the Kentucky Derby each year is not feasible for nearly half of the general populace in this country, so there's no harm in attending horse races locally. If you happen to live around Chicago though, the one special place to go is Arlington for the Arlington Million. It's a wonderful event, and though you're surrounded by Midwesterners, feel free to wear your fancy hats, ladies.
Like almost half of America, I will not be able to make it to the Derby this year, mostly because I have a job, and that job doesn't pay me enough to be able to afford to take time off and travel to a horse race. That's why I, along with several friends, will be placing bets at the local Off-Track Betting facility (just 5 minutes from my home) and then attending an impromptu Derby party at a local watering hole. Now, I don't know much about horse racing, but after skimming some very superficial information about the horses running the main event tomorrow, I've decided to share my picks:
Court Vision: This horse, despite having a fairly mundane name, is a solid pick to take one of the top three spots at the Derby. Court Vision is a terrific sprinter with some good late speed.
Z Fortune: Three wins and two second place finishes in six races. If this horse gets a decent start, it'll be an interesting finish.
Adriano: Check out this pedigree: Secretariat ---> Weekend Surprise ---> Seattle Slew ---> A.P. Indy ---> Adriano. That's equine royalty.
Denis of Cork: Good distance pedigree with a smart jockey (Calvin Borel, winner with Street Sense last year) aboard. Not a breakout horse, but a decent pick to show.
Gayego: This horse won the Arkansas Derby, which has often been a litmus test for elite horses. Jockey Mike Smith won the 2005 Kentucky Derby at 50-1 odds on Giacomo.
Recapturetheglory: Coming off a 4-length victory at the Illinois Derby, this horse has a decent shot to show with two wins, a second, and two third place finishes in six starts. Early breakaway speed might come in handy if the pack clogs up a little in the middle/rear. The question is, does Gayego have enough endurance to hold off any late sprinters?
Colonel John: A late sprinter and terrific distance horse. While the odds are a lot better (currently 4-1), I won't be putting too much down on Colonel John, but it'd be foolish to completely ignore this horse.
Notice, I haven't mentioned Big Brown yet. I'm pretty skeptical about this horse despite winning all three career starts so far. Two quarter cracks have turned me away along with a poor post position. If Big Brown doesn't get a good early jump, mediocrity is a very distinct possibility come Saturday, which will be much to the chagrin of trainer Richard Dutrow, Jr., who has spent much of the week expressing his confidence in the horse.
Come tomorrow, I'll be dropping about $100 on these horses. Feel free to spend up to $400 on Derby bets while still holding on to the title of a Decent Person. Any more than that, and you're bordering on a gambling addiction and decent people aren't addicted to anything but tobacco, alcohol, cheesesteak, and women. But that will be covered in later posts.
Good luck.
Yes, occasional gambling is part of being a decent person. No, cockfighting is not included.
Horse racing is the Sport of Kings. Think about it this way: Kings are pretty decent people. And just look at all the well-dressed racists that attend the Kentucky Derby each year in suits (seersucker is wonderfully appropriate) and large, fancy hats. Racism and rampant alcoholism aside, these are decent people.
I know making it down to the Kentucky Derby each year is not feasible for nearly half of the general populace in this country, so there's no harm in attending horse races locally. If you happen to live around Chicago though, the one special place to go is Arlington for the Arlington Million. It's a wonderful event, and though you're surrounded by Midwesterners, feel free to wear your fancy hats, ladies.
Like almost half of America, I will not be able to make it to the Derby this year, mostly because I have a job, and that job doesn't pay me enough to be able to afford to take time off and travel to a horse race. That's why I, along with several friends, will be placing bets at the local Off-Track Betting facility (just 5 minutes from my home) and then attending an impromptu Derby party at a local watering hole. Now, I don't know much about horse racing, but after skimming some very superficial information about the horses running the main event tomorrow, I've decided to share my picks:
Court Vision: This horse, despite having a fairly mundane name, is a solid pick to take one of the top three spots at the Derby. Court Vision is a terrific sprinter with some good late speed.
Z Fortune: Three wins and two second place finishes in six races. If this horse gets a decent start, it'll be an interesting finish.
Adriano: Check out this pedigree: Secretariat ---> Weekend Surprise ---> Seattle Slew ---> A.P. Indy ---> Adriano. That's equine royalty.
Denis of Cork: Good distance pedigree with a smart jockey (Calvin Borel, winner with Street Sense last year) aboard. Not a breakout horse, but a decent pick to show.
Gayego: This horse won the Arkansas Derby, which has often been a litmus test for elite horses. Jockey Mike Smith won the 2005 Kentucky Derby at 50-1 odds on Giacomo.
Recapturetheglory: Coming off a 4-length victory at the Illinois Derby, this horse has a decent shot to show with two wins, a second, and two third place finishes in six starts. Early breakaway speed might come in handy if the pack clogs up a little in the middle/rear. The question is, does Gayego have enough endurance to hold off any late sprinters?
Colonel John: A late sprinter and terrific distance horse. While the odds are a lot better (currently 4-1), I won't be putting too much down on Colonel John, but it'd be foolish to completely ignore this horse.
Notice, I haven't mentioned Big Brown yet. I'm pretty skeptical about this horse despite winning all three career starts so far. Two quarter cracks have turned me away along with a poor post position. If Big Brown doesn't get a good early jump, mediocrity is a very distinct possibility come Saturday, which will be much to the chagrin of trainer Richard Dutrow, Jr., who has spent much of the week expressing his confidence in the horse.
Come tomorrow, I'll be dropping about $100 on these horses. Feel free to spend up to $400 on Derby bets while still holding on to the title of a Decent Person. Any more than that, and you're bordering on a gambling addiction and decent people aren't addicted to anything but tobacco, alcohol, cheesesteak, and women. But that will be covered in later posts.
Good luck.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Tips for Being a Decent Person: #1
#1 - Always carry at least $71 in hard currency on your person.
I understand that for many people credit/debit cards have eliminated the need to carry cash and, where they haven't, ATMs are most often within walking distance (or at most, a short bicycle ride). However, should any/all of these systems fail, why let yourself become a victim of circumstance? Credit card machines will malfunction. ATMs will malfunction. Make sure that you can still purchase goods or services that you want and, in turn, the provider of said goods or services will make sure he can provide you with change for your purchase.
Why $71? Because that's all I have on my person today. I would've said $83, but as I walked out of the house this morning with $12 less than that, I settled on $71. Really, anything over $53 will do. It's just nice to have some extra for unforseen expenses/extortion. Keep $53 in your shirt or jacket pocket, and the rest in pants or a sock. Should a situation arise in which you are being extorted, you can always reach into your shirt or jacket and say "Damn, this is all I have." It's convincing because the extorter sees you pull everything out of your pocket and hand it over and assumes that is where you keep all your money. However, after the situation is diffused with an exchange of cash, you'll still have money left over for other unforseen expenses/extortions... and a visit to the Dollar Menu at McDonald's.
Note: This also comes in handy if your name is Anthony. Ajay doesn't like paying for your lunch when your busted ass credit card doesn't work.
I understand that for many people credit/debit cards have eliminated the need to carry cash and, where they haven't, ATMs are most often within walking distance (or at most, a short bicycle ride). However, should any/all of these systems fail, why let yourself become a victim of circumstance? Credit card machines will malfunction. ATMs will malfunction. Make sure that you can still purchase goods or services that you want and, in turn, the provider of said goods or services will make sure he can provide you with change for your purchase.
Why $71? Because that's all I have on my person today. I would've said $83, but as I walked out of the house this morning with $12 less than that, I settled on $71. Really, anything over $53 will do. It's just nice to have some extra for unforseen expenses/extortion. Keep $53 in your shirt or jacket pocket, and the rest in pants or a sock. Should a situation arise in which you are being extorted, you can always reach into your shirt or jacket and say "Damn, this is all I have." It's convincing because the extorter sees you pull everything out of your pocket and hand it over and assumes that is where you keep all your money. However, after the situation is diffused with an exchange of cash, you'll still have money left over for other unforseen expenses/extortions... and a visit to the Dollar Menu at McDonald's.
Note: This also comes in handy if your name is Anthony. Ajay doesn't like paying for your lunch when your busted ass credit card doesn't work.
Ten Things to Do While Visiting India
1. Immediately regret going to India.
2. Thank God for the malaria pills you've been taking after you see the size of the mosquitoes.
3. Realize that nobody in India above age 12 wears shorts.
4. Hang out in the foothills of the Himalayas with European backpackers.
5. Sleep with female European backpackers.
6. Be amazed at how much food you can get for $5.
7. Be full after only $1 of food, then feel bad for buying $4 more and not finishing it.
8. Always look like a foreigner no matter how hard you try.
9. Give up on trying to experience the "real" India and stay in a fancy Western hotel.
10. Try not to get food poisoning.
Bonus:
11. Try not to constantly laugh at the silly accent.
2. Thank God for the malaria pills you've been taking after you see the size of the mosquitoes.
3. Realize that nobody in India above age 12 wears shorts.
4. Hang out in the foothills of the Himalayas with European backpackers.
5. Sleep with female European backpackers.
6. Be amazed at how much food you can get for $5.
7. Be full after only $1 of food, then feel bad for buying $4 more and not finishing it.
8. Always look like a foreigner no matter how hard you try.
9. Give up on trying to experience the "real" India and stay in a fancy Western hotel.
10. Try not to get food poisoning.
Bonus:
11. Try not to constantly laugh at the silly accent.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Things You Should Try in 2008
Every so often, something comes along that makes me happier than the usual jovial person that I am. I'd be remiss if I didn't take note of these things and suggest them to friends, family, coworkers, enemies, and strangers. This marks the beginning and the early stages of what will be a rather extensive compilation of things I recommend this year.
Lays Classic Potato Chips
These guys have been around forever, but it seems they've made them just a hair thicker recently which has done wonders for the crispiness. Put down the bag of organic baked whole wheat artichoke-flavored crap you're eating right now and give these a shot.
Note: Don't try them unless you have teeth. Newborns, I'm looking at you.
"American Boy" by Estelle, featuring Kanye West
I just can't get enough of this song. Although if it's played at the wedding on Saturday, it might be ruined.
Gatorade Tiger
Almost everyone who has talked to me in the past 2 weeks knows that I'm now obsessed with this stuff. So far I've had either a Red Drive or Cool Fusion every morning after my bike ride (or after a rough night at the bar) and it's wonderful. I haven't brought myself to try the purple variety yet, but I highly doubt I will since i hate grape-flavored anything (save jam).
Note: Not just for athletes. If it's good enough for Woodrow "Tiger" Woods, it's probably good enough for you.
Al's Pizzeria
I've had something obscene like 5 or 6 lunches from this place in the past week. And I haven't spent more than $6.00 for any of those meals. A $2.75 individual sausage pizza and a $2.50 cheese pizza puff (BIG and more doughy than greasy, like a pint-sized calzone) will leave you satisfied until Memorial Day. If you'd like, a fountain drink is just $1.25. Plus, the food comes up pretty quick; I just go up there, order, and 3 minutes later, I'm out the door with lunch in hand.
Note: It's at 87th (Boughton) and Woodward in Woodridge. I know there are 2 more locations, another pizzeria and a more dinner-oriented restaurant, in North Riverside and Cicero, respectively.
That's all I've got for now, but I guarantee there will be more within the next couple weeks when I completely get sick of all these things.
Lays Classic Potato Chips
These guys have been around forever, but it seems they've made them just a hair thicker recently which has done wonders for the crispiness. Put down the bag of organic baked whole wheat artichoke-flavored crap you're eating right now and give these a shot.
Note: Don't try them unless you have teeth. Newborns, I'm looking at you.
"American Boy" by Estelle, featuring Kanye West
I just can't get enough of this song. Although if it's played at the wedding on Saturday, it might be ruined.
Gatorade Tiger
Almost everyone who has talked to me in the past 2 weeks knows that I'm now obsessed with this stuff. So far I've had either a Red Drive or Cool Fusion every morning after my bike ride (or after a rough night at the bar) and it's wonderful. I haven't brought myself to try the purple variety yet, but I highly doubt I will since i hate grape-flavored anything (save jam).
Note: Not just for athletes. If it's good enough for Woodrow "Tiger" Woods, it's probably good enough for you.
Al's Pizzeria
I've had something obscene like 5 or 6 lunches from this place in the past week. And I haven't spent more than $6.00 for any of those meals. A $2.75 individual sausage pizza and a $2.50 cheese pizza puff (BIG and more doughy than greasy, like a pint-sized calzone) will leave you satisfied until Memorial Day. If you'd like, a fountain drink is just $1.25. Plus, the food comes up pretty quick; I just go up there, order, and 3 minutes later, I'm out the door with lunch in hand.
Note: It's at 87th (Boughton) and Woodward in Woodridge. I know there are 2 more locations, another pizzeria and a more dinner-oriented restaurant, in North Riverside and Cicero, respectively.
That's all I've got for now, but I guarantee there will be more within the next couple weeks when I completely get sick of all these things.
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