Tips for Being a Decent Person: #2

#2 - Bet on horses occasionally.

Yes, occasional gambling is part of being a decent person. No, cockfighting is not included.

Horse racing is the Sport of Kings. Think about it this way: Kings are pretty decent people. And just look at all the well-dressed racists that attend the Kentucky Derby each year in suits (seersucker is wonderfully appropriate) and large, fancy hats. Racism and rampant alcoholism aside, these are decent people.

I know making it down to the Kentucky Derby each year is not feasible for nearly half of the general populace in this country, so there's no harm in attending horse races locally. If you happen to live around Chicago though, the one special place to go is Arlington for the Arlington Million. It's a wonderful event, and though you're surrounded by Midwesterners, feel free to wear your fancy hats, ladies.

Like almost half of America, I will not be able to make it to the Derby this year, mostly because I have a job, and that job doesn't pay me enough to be able to afford to take time off and travel to a horse race. That's why I, along with several friends, will be placing bets at the local Off-Track Betting facility (just 5 minutes from my home) and then attending an impromptu Derby party at a local watering hole. Now, I don't know much about horse racing, but after skimming some very superficial information about the horses running the main event tomorrow, I've decided to share my picks:

Court Vision: This horse, despite having a fairly mundane name, is a solid pick to take one of the top three spots at the Derby. Court Vision is a terrific sprinter with some good late speed.

Z Fortune: Three wins and two second place finishes in six races. If this horse gets a decent start, it'll be an interesting finish.

Adriano: Check out this pedigree: Secretariat ---> Weekend Surprise ---> Seattle Slew ---> A.P. Indy ---> Adriano. That's equine royalty.

Denis of Cork: Good distance pedigree with a smart jockey (Calvin Borel, winner with Street Sense last year) aboard. Not a breakout horse, but a decent pick to show.

Gayego: This horse won the Arkansas Derby, which has often been a litmus test for elite horses. Jockey Mike Smith won the 2005 Kentucky Derby at 50-1 odds on Giacomo.

Recapturetheglory: Coming off a 4-length victory at the Illinois Derby, this horse has a decent shot to show with two wins, a second, and two third place finishes in six starts. Early breakaway speed might come in handy if the pack clogs up a little in the middle/rear. The question is, does Gayego have enough endurance to hold off any late sprinters?

Colonel John: A late sprinter and terrific distance horse. While the odds are a lot better (currently 4-1), I won't be putting too much down on Colonel John, but it'd be foolish to completely ignore this horse.

Notice, I haven't mentioned Big Brown yet. I'm pretty skeptical about this horse despite winning all three career starts so far. Two quarter cracks have turned me away along with a poor post position. If Big Brown doesn't get a good early jump, mediocrity is a very distinct possibility come Saturday, which will be much to the chagrin of trainer Richard Dutrow, Jr., who has spent much of the week expressing his confidence in the horse.

Come tomorrow, I'll be dropping about $100 on these horses. Feel free to spend up to $400 on Derby bets while still holding on to the title of a Decent Person. Any more than that, and you're bordering on a gambling addiction and decent people aren't addicted to anything but tobacco, alcohol, cheesesteak, and women. But that will be covered in later posts.

Good luck.