I’ve woken up twice already; once at 5:15, and once at 6:27. Mom wakes me up at 7:22 to see if I want to have tea with her and my aunt. I do. The tea is made with more milk than water and it’s fantastic. However, it’s not fantastic enough to prevent me from going back to bed until 9:30. That’s when I start to feel guilty about staying in bed when I’m not really that tired anymore. After a quick breakfast and a shower, we hop in a car and head to my dad’s family’s home.
Four years is a long time. I recognize a few buildings on the way, but much of the scenery is different. Only visiting every few years, I have this idea in my head that no matter how much I change, India always stays the same. I expect to come back to the same place that I left last time but Delhi has changed far more in the past four years than I have. There are malls popping up everywhere, the Metro is simplifying the daily commute for hundreds of thousands. College kids are blasting remixed Hindi songs with reggaeton beats. And this is happening throughout the traditional working-class neighborhoods of Delhi; I’m not sure what to expect of my trip to Connaught Place tomorrow.
Dad’s family is different, too. My grandmother is looking her age. She’s still sharp as a tack, but each of those 97 years has taken its toll physically. One of my cousins just had a baby boy and she has started looking the part of a mother. Another cousin is far more… stout… than he was just four years ago. He’s getting married next Saturday. Another cousin is far prettier than I remembered. She’s getting married in two weeks.
The changes are sobering and exciting at the same time. I sit with my grandmother for an hour, holding her hand as she lies in bed. But then my aunt comes in with her handsome baby grandson. I’m not one who usually gets excited about babies, but I am right now because we lock eyes and I catch him smiling and reaching for my face with his tiny fingers. I’m fairly certain we have a deep connection.
From there, we head to another aunt’s house (dad’s sister) for lunch. There’s far too much sitting and talking before lunch and my uncle decides to deride my life choices after interrogating me. Lunch is good and it’s good to see that my aunt is sweet as ever. We head back to dad’s family’s home, sit around for a while, and then Mom and I go back to her sister’s.
I watch a little bit of cricket (Sri Lanka vs. Zimbabwe), we eat dinner, and I retire to my room. Before sleeping, I try to write a bit, which is surprisingly easy until I realize that I have no distractions, and then it’s less surprising but still just as easy. I plan on going to bed early, but for some reason, there are small firecrackers being detonated a couple blocks away and the upstairs neighbors are trying out their new subwoofer at full blast. Nobody seems to care how tired I am.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Arrival – Thursday, November 20th
Flying into Indira Gandhi Airport at night, Delhi doesn’t look like other large cities. That’s because it isn’t like other large cities. The airport has been somewhat renovated since I’ve been here last. I can’t tell if it’s structurally any different than it used to be, but the lighting is better and there have been some superficial improvements. Certainly, I’m in no shape to critique the airport as I arrive. However, I can tell without a doubt that it is cleaner than I remember.
After what seems like an eternity waiting for our baggage, we make our way to the reception area to look for our driver. He better have a picture of us or sign with our name on it because it is packed in here. He does have a sign. Mom, intent on being the worst traveler ever, walks right past him and I have to chase her down and let her know I’ve found our driver.
Pushing the luggage cart out into the night, the smelly, foggy, heavy, night, I make a promise to never utter a harsh word about American airports ever again. I’m weaving a luggage cart stacked with suitcases through moving traffic and fighting the urge to freak out any time a car gets close to hitting me, which is often. After making it to our car, I look back at the vast river of disorganized airport traffic and realize I only crossed about twenty feet of road. That’s when I realize that I could never live in India.
The drive to my aunt’s house (mom’s sister) is surprisingly pleasant. Traffic is heavier than one would expect at 11:30 pm on a Thursday, but the driver gets us home quickly and safely. Thankfully, the car has air conditioning so we are able to make the trip with the windows closed, avoiding the dust and exhaust that mix with oxygen and nitrogen to form ‘air’ in Delhi. Upon entering, I’m happy to see my aunt although she looks much, much older than I expected. After sitting and talking for a bit, I decide I’m still tired and retire for the evening, falling asleep around 1:00 am.
After what seems like an eternity waiting for our baggage, we make our way to the reception area to look for our driver. He better have a picture of us or sign with our name on it because it is packed in here. He does have a sign. Mom, intent on being the worst traveler ever, walks right past him and I have to chase her down and let her know I’ve found our driver.
Pushing the luggage cart out into the night, the smelly, foggy, heavy, night, I make a promise to never utter a harsh word about American airports ever again. I’m weaving a luggage cart stacked with suitcases through moving traffic and fighting the urge to freak out any time a car gets close to hitting me, which is often. After making it to our car, I look back at the vast river of disorganized airport traffic and realize I only crossed about twenty feet of road. That’s when I realize that I could never live in India.
The drive to my aunt’s house (mom’s sister) is surprisingly pleasant. Traffic is heavier than one would expect at 11:30 pm on a Thursday, but the driver gets us home quickly and safely. Thankfully, the car has air conditioning so we are able to make the trip with the windows closed, avoiding the dust and exhaust that mix with oxygen and nitrogen to form ‘air’ in Delhi. Upon entering, I’m happy to see my aunt although she looks much, much older than I expected. After sitting and talking for a bit, I decide I’m still tired and retire for the evening, falling asleep around 1:00 am.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Departure – Wednesday, November 19th
I like to travel light. I use one checked suitcase. I carry a couple things in my backpack. My mother, however, knows that each passenger is allowed two checked items, one carry-on, and a personal item. She packs three suitcases, a carry-on, her laptop bag, and a second carry-on for me. So I guess I won’t be traveling light. After checking in and making our way through security, Mom decides she’s maybe kind of hungry but won’t decide where to eat. She claims to be ‘okay with anything’ but somehow rejects each eatery we pass. Twenty minutes later, she finally settles on McDonald’s of all places, and I decide this is not a good start to the trip.
Once we board the plane, I decide to put the rolling carry-on in an overhead compartment and keep my backpack underneath the seat in front of me. Mom, however, elects to keep her carry-on and her laptop bag at her feet, cutting down on the room available for my backpack and, therefore, my legs and feet. Fantastic. Oh, and she takes the aisle seat.
After 3 hours in the air, The Dark Knight, and some mediocre pasta with chicken, Mom decides she’d rather have the window seat. One would think I’d be used to dealing with all this after years of traveling with my mother, but, alas, no, I’m not. I take a Diazepam and sleep for a few hours, wake up for 2 hours, and sleep for a few more hours. I’m not sure how long I sleep on the plane, but it doesn’t feel like 15 hours. That’s partially because it hasn’t been 15 hours since takeoff. We’re told we will reach Delhi about an hour early.
Once we board the plane, I decide to put the rolling carry-on in an overhead compartment and keep my backpack underneath the seat in front of me. Mom, however, elects to keep her carry-on and her laptop bag at her feet, cutting down on the room available for my backpack and, therefore, my legs and feet. Fantastic. Oh, and she takes the aisle seat.
After 3 hours in the air, The Dark Knight, and some mediocre pasta with chicken, Mom decides she’d rather have the window seat. One would think I’d be used to dealing with all this after years of traveling with my mother, but, alas, no, I’m not. I take a Diazepam and sleep for a few hours, wake up for 2 hours, and sleep for a few more hours. I’m not sure how long I sleep on the plane, but it doesn’t feel like 15 hours. That’s partially because it hasn’t been 15 hours since takeoff. We’re told we will reach Delhi about an hour early.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Loyola @ #11 Purdue - 11/18/08
Purdue, 78 - Loyola, 46... and Rambler fans everywhere shed a single tear.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
"Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torments of man."
Friedrich Nietzsche uttered those infamous words long ago as an eerie premonition about the state of Loyola Rambler basketball fans in the 21st century.
Loyola was once a proud basketball program. The Ramblers reached the NIT Finals in both 1939 and 1949. In the 1962-1963 season, the Ramblers, led by coach George Ireland, took home the national title by winning 60-58 over Cincinnati in the NCAA Tournament. Loyola returned the following season to the Sweet Sixteen and once again in 1985.
My tenure at Loyola is probably best remembered for the selfish heroics of the miniscule star guard David Bailey, and later the fearsome duo of Blake Schilb and Majak Kou. Those 3 Ramblers gave hope to a program that hasn't seen any significant success since the mid 1980s. However, those 3 Ramblers, along with thousands of Ramblers fans/students had their hopes dashed repeatedly. I was, and continue to be, one of them.
Yet each year, forgetting the disappointment of January and February, we once again let hope rise in us like mercury, thinking, "This is our year," like some sort of idiotic Cubs fan. Speaking for myself, this season is no different. The Ramblers return with an experienced team that has faced tough competition year-in and year-out against an increasingly talented Horizon League. Battle-hardened veterans like JR Blount, Darrin Williams, and Leon Young have seen the ups and downs of the program and have begun to stand out as the unquestioned leaders of the squad.
Blount especially has become a fan favorite by averaging 10 or more points-per-game during his first three seasons at Loyola. Two games into the season, it appears he's ready to continue that trend in 2008 and 2009.
Loyola opened the season against a relative cupcake in Division II Rockhurst. Blount showcased his quickness, scoring prowess, and mettle by hitting 12 of 22 from the floor and 17 of 20 from the line for a total of 42 points (tying David Bailey's record for total points at Gentile Center). However, a weak performance from the bench put a damper on Blount's record night and cast an ominous shadow over the rest of the upcoming season. Rockhurst took advantage of terrific 3-point shooting to upset the Ramblers 86-79. Plus, rebound fiend Leon Young suffered a broken hand and will be missing for 4-6 weeks.
Scheduling a Division II team for the season-opener is a double-edged sword. One one hand, it usually proves to be an easy win and can help build momentum. On the other, though, a loss can be devastating. In either case, it tends to set the tone for the season, and judging by Loyola's loss, it's hard to remain optimistic competing in an increasingly difficult Horizon League field.
However last night, the Ramblers, true to form, have gotten our hopes up once again. In the opening round of the NIT Season Tip-Off, the Ramblers faced a Georgia team that carried a losing record last season but still managed to make it to the big dance by winning the SEC tournament. The last time Loyola had beaten a current member of the SEC was in 1964 against Kentucky in the NCAA Tournament.
Loyola brought a balanced, efficient offense and a stingy defense to stomp the untested, green Georgia squad 74-53. Blount didn't put up 42, but he did manage 16 points, 7 assists, 3 rebounds, and 3 steals to lead 4 Loyola scorers in double digits. Solid, unselfish play from all five starters overwhelmed a weary Georgia team early in the second half and advanced Loyola to the regional finals.
Tonight, Loyola takes on a Purdue squad ranked 11th in the nation in West Lafayette. Still riding high off the win against Georgia last night, I'm praying to the basketball gods that we don't get completely destroyed by the team predicted to win the Big10. A loss against Purdue definitely isn't a bad thing. We've seen that 3 times in the last 4 years. Losing to a Big10 team, especially a ranked one, isn't going to demoralize the players. But they can't get blown out. Loyola beat Purdue in Chicago in 2005. Granted, this is a very different Purdue team, more similar to the one that shot almost 60% from the floor against the Ramblers last year, but winning is not out of the question.
Loyola upset #15 Butler last season and has proven it has the talent to take down programs that make mistakes, but the Ramblers need flawless play from all five starters and solid defense from the bench to have a shot at this one.
The ability to force turnovers and keep the ball out of E'Twuan Moore, JaJuan Johnson, and Robbie Hummel's hands as much as possible. Purdue will shoot the ball well and is very adept at forcing turnovers. Loyola needs to continue last year's efficient, mistake-free offense and force Purdue to foul Blount. Darrin Williams holds a 25 pound advantage on JaJuan Johnson and could cause problems for the Boilermakers in the post and on the glass.
Loyola is 8-1 in their last 9 games when scoring 70+ points. But that won't matter tonight.
My prediction: Purdue wins 87-71. The Boilermakers advance to the semifinals at Madison Square Garden, go on to win the Big10 and earn a spot in the Elite Eight. Loyola hovers just over .500 in the Horizon League, makes a deep run in the conference tournament, but gets stood up for the big dance despite a winning record and all-conference honors for Blount and Williams.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Cautious Optimism
"Careful, this is not the world, only the way you need to see the world." - Philip Graham
The election of Barack Obama and the growth of a Democratic majority in Congress seems to have been a turning point for many people in this country. The celebration has been widespread after a campaign carried by the most politically active public in our country's history. Emotion was the fuel for those fervent voters and campaigners; discontent with the current administration and legislature and a desire for an alternative, the replacement of those that betrayed them.
At a time when dissatisfaction reigns, idealistic rhetoric can be the most powerful instrument for change. However, the change we seek is not limited to electing Barack Obama and establishing a Democratic majority in the legislature. These are but the first two steps to realizing the abstract concepts that were so often spoken of during the election. It is unfortunate that terms like "equality," "peace," "cooperation," "stability," and "compassion" are abstract ideas, but they will remain that way until we recognize that there is no end to the change we seek. We cannot fall back into apathy after each accomplishment and then claim ignorance when things subsequently go awry. There is no question that change can be made quickly, but it needs to be maintained vigilantly.
Barack Obama is not our nation's messiah. He may prove to be a great, successful leader in the White House, but we cannot let the burden of our expectations rest solely on his shoulders. In electing him as our next president, we have made ourselves just as responsible, if not more, for bringing about the "change we need." Likewise, the blame for the past eight years falls on us as much as it does on President Bush, his administration, the incumbent legislature, and the intelligence community. We've seen what complicity can do to our country when we rely on others to take action on our behalf. We need to re-establish accountability, not simply by voting every two years but by making ourselves known, by reaching out to our elected officials and to each other. Write letters. Make signs. Protest. Make use of the rights given to us by our Constitution. Our 300 million voices make up the most powerful political body in our nation's history. So let your cheers be heard now, but also your complaints, your desires, and your outrage. Our government cannot fail us unless we let it, and it cannot succeed unless we support it.
Monday, November 3, 2008
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Penguins
1) Eat fish.
2) Huddle for warmth.
3) Protect eggs.
4) Feed offspring.
5) Star in superhero movie as villain opposite Michael Keaton.
6) Parlay stardom into documentary about habits 1-4.
7) Be proactive.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Report Card: Week 8
Okay, so not all the games went according to my plans yesterday. But I think I did pretty well with my predictions.
#7 Texas Tech def. Texas A&M, 43-25
Yes, I said Tech would win big and they did. But A&M led at the half and kept me biting my nails. Tech only put up 561 yards of total offense... I was 239 off.
Grade: 9 out of 10
#19 South Florida def. Syracuse, 45-13
USF covered my meager 7 point spread. 'Cuse let me down by getting crushed.
Grade: 7 out of 10
Northwestern def. Purdue, 48-26
The Wildcats opened up a can with a 24 point second quarter. Big game for Bacher.
Grade: 7 out of 10
#10 Georgia def. #22 Vanderbilt, 24-14
Georgia had this game in the bag the whole way through, but Vandy made it look close. I called a dozen, Georgia won by a dime.
Grade: 9 out of 10
Eastern Illinois def. SE Missouri State, 24-21
Looks like it was a close game. Still, nobody cares.
Grade: 10 out of 10
#6 USC def. Washington State, 69-0
It was disgusting. My prediction that the Cougars would put up a field goal was a bit optimistic.
Grade: 9 out of 10
#12 Ohio State def. #20 Michigan State, 45-7
Holy crap, the Buckeyes unloaded on MSU. Terrelle Pryor and Beanie Wells might be the most dangerous backfield in college football. I was way off.
Grade: 0 out of 10
UCLA def. Stanford, 23-20
UCLA stepped up to keep hope alive for this season. I'm disappointed in Stanford.
Grade: 2 out of 10
#3 Penn State def. Michigan, 46-17
Michigan scored a little more than I thought they would, but apparently decided to just not play the second half. Penn State is another step closer to a national title.
Grade: 9 out of 10
#1 Texas def. #11 Missouri, 56-31
Missouri lost this one in the first half and came up with trash points after halftime to preserve a very thin shred of their dignity. Longhorns look scary good.
Grade: 8 out of 10
Illinois def. Indiana, 55-13
Juice Williams is the most exciting QB in college football. I said he'd score more by himself than Indiana would as a team; he did it in the first quarter.
Grade: 10 out of 10
Boston College def. #17 Virginia Tech, 28-23
The Eagles won this game in the first half. The Hokie offense looked atrocious. Nice effort from the D though.
Grade: 3 out of 10
Final Grade: 69%
D+
#7 Texas Tech def. Texas A&M, 43-25
Yes, I said Tech would win big and they did. But A&M led at the half and kept me biting my nails. Tech only put up 561 yards of total offense... I was 239 off.
Grade: 9 out of 10
#19 South Florida def. Syracuse, 45-13
USF covered my meager 7 point spread. 'Cuse let me down by getting crushed.
Grade: 7 out of 10
Northwestern def. Purdue, 48-26
The Wildcats opened up a can with a 24 point second quarter. Big game for Bacher.
Grade: 7 out of 10
#10 Georgia def. #22 Vanderbilt, 24-14
Georgia had this game in the bag the whole way through, but Vandy made it look close. I called a dozen, Georgia won by a dime.
Grade: 9 out of 10
Eastern Illinois def. SE Missouri State, 24-21
Looks like it was a close game. Still, nobody cares.
Grade: 10 out of 10
#6 USC def. Washington State, 69-0
It was disgusting. My prediction that the Cougars would put up a field goal was a bit optimistic.
Grade: 9 out of 10
#12 Ohio State def. #20 Michigan State, 45-7
Holy crap, the Buckeyes unloaded on MSU. Terrelle Pryor and Beanie Wells might be the most dangerous backfield in college football. I was way off.
Grade: 0 out of 10
UCLA def. Stanford, 23-20
UCLA stepped up to keep hope alive for this season. I'm disappointed in Stanford.
Grade: 2 out of 10
#3 Penn State def. Michigan, 46-17
Michigan scored a little more than I thought they would, but apparently decided to just not play the second half. Penn State is another step closer to a national title.
Grade: 9 out of 10
#1 Texas def. #11 Missouri, 56-31
Missouri lost this one in the first half and came up with trash points after halftime to preserve a very thin shred of their dignity. Longhorns look scary good.
Grade: 8 out of 10
Illinois def. Indiana, 55-13
Juice Williams is the most exciting QB in college football. I said he'd score more by himself than Indiana would as a team; he did it in the first quarter.
Grade: 10 out of 10
Boston College def. #17 Virginia Tech, 28-23
The Eagles won this game in the first half. The Hokie offense looked atrocious. Nice effort from the D though.
Grade: 3 out of 10
Final Grade: 69%
D+
Friday, October 17, 2008
What You Should Be Watching Tomorrow
Here are my recommendations for which college football games you should be watching tomorrow. (All game times are Eastern time. And, yes, I realize that not all these games are going to be broadcast in your region. Sack up and get a decent football package.)
#7 Texas Tech at Texas A&M - Noon
Why: Because you're curious as to whether or not Tech will put up 800 yards of total offense.
The Call: Tech. By a lot.
Syracuse at #19 South Florida - Noon
Why: Syracuse is better than their record shows (and, no, I'm not being sarcastic this year). It'll be closer than people think, but...
The Call: I'm giving it to USF. They play harder than most of the guys getting paid for playing on Sundays. South Florida by 7.
Purdue at Northwestern - Noon
Why: It's time to find out if the geeky kids in Evanston are for real. Yeah, they're bowl-bound, but can they finally hang in the BigTen again?
The Call: Northwestern by 10. And the field will be littered with shoes after the game. Because Tyrell Sutton will have juked every Boilermaker out of them.
#22 Vanderbilt at #10 Georgia - 12:30 pm
Why: Are you serious? "Why?" Because Vandy is 3-1 in the SEC and is licking its chops at the prospect of an SEC East title. It'll be interesting to see if Georgia can cut up Vandy's soft secondary. Count on Knowshon Moreno to keep the Commodore linebackers honest.
The Call: Georgia by a dozen. As much as I'd like to see Vanderbilt do it, I'm fairly certain they won't.
SE Missouri State at Eastern Illinois - 2:30 pm
Why: I've got nothing. You don't want to see this game. And I doubt it'll be televised anyway (even around Charleston).
The Call: Everyone loses.
#6 USC at Washington State - 3:30 pm
Why: Because the Cougars are young, banged up, awful, and begging to get stomped on. Count on USC to put up at least 50. And stay tuned after the game for when Rey Maualuga gets arrested after decapitating everyone WSU throws in at QB.
The Call: WSU hits one field goal. USC scores 8 touchdowns. It's going to be disgusting.
#12 Ohio State at #20 Michigan State - 3:30 pm
Why: This game could very well determine who gets the #2 spot in the BigTen behind Penn State. It'll be interesting to see if MSU can contain double threat Terrelle Pryor.
The Call: MSU earns the win late in the 4th quarter.
Stanford at UCLA - 4:00 pm
Why: Can the Cardinal improve to 4-1 in the Pac-10? Can UCLA salvage some dignity by not losing to the conference nerds?
The Call: Stanford by 14.
Michigan at #3 Penn State - 4:30 pm
Why: Penn State has lost their last 8 to Michigan. And they know it. Look for the Nittany Lions to show off why they're the best in the BigTen.
The Call: Penn State is going to put up basketball numbers. Michigan is going to put up baseball numbers.
#11 Missouri at #1 Texas - 8:00 pm
Why: Colt McCoy looks as good (if not better) than any QB out there right now. On the other side is star QB Chase Daniel. We might have a shootout down in Austin.
The Call: Texas by double figures, but don't be surprised to see Mizzou keep it close in the first half.
Indiana at Illinois - 8:00 pm
Why: Juice Williams is making a mockery of defenses everywhere. Illinois needs to prove last season wasn't a fluke and the Hoosiers are just the team to help them do it.
The Call: Juice Williams puts up twice as many points as the Hoosiers on his own. Illini win big.
#17 Virginia Tech at Boston College - 8:00 pm
Why: The Eagles are favored. You better believe the Hokies aren't happy about that. This is a make-or-break game for VTech. They're out to prove they deserve to play in January.
The Call: The Eagles keep it close, but it's the Hokies by a beak.
I'm sure I'm going to be eating my words on more than a few of these predictions come Monday, but until then, I stand by my picks.
#7 Texas Tech at Texas A&M - Noon
Why: Because you're curious as to whether or not Tech will put up 800 yards of total offense.
The Call: Tech. By a lot.
Syracuse at #19 South Florida - Noon
Why: Syracuse is better than their record shows (and, no, I'm not being sarcastic this year). It'll be closer than people think, but...
The Call: I'm giving it to USF. They play harder than most of the guys getting paid for playing on Sundays. South Florida by 7.
Purdue at Northwestern - Noon
Why: It's time to find out if the geeky kids in Evanston are for real. Yeah, they're bowl-bound, but can they finally hang in the BigTen again?
The Call: Northwestern by 10. And the field will be littered with shoes after the game. Because Tyrell Sutton will have juked every Boilermaker out of them.
#22 Vanderbilt at #10 Georgia - 12:30 pm
Why: Are you serious? "Why?" Because Vandy is 3-1 in the SEC and is licking its chops at the prospect of an SEC East title. It'll be interesting to see if Georgia can cut up Vandy's soft secondary. Count on Knowshon Moreno to keep the Commodore linebackers honest.
The Call: Georgia by a dozen. As much as I'd like to see Vanderbilt do it, I'm fairly certain they won't.
SE Missouri State at Eastern Illinois - 2:30 pm
Why: I've got nothing. You don't want to see this game. And I doubt it'll be televised anyway (even around Charleston).
The Call: Everyone loses.
#6 USC at Washington State - 3:30 pm
Why: Because the Cougars are young, banged up, awful, and begging to get stomped on. Count on USC to put up at least 50. And stay tuned after the game for when Rey Maualuga gets arrested after decapitating everyone WSU throws in at QB.
The Call: WSU hits one field goal. USC scores 8 touchdowns. It's going to be disgusting.
#12 Ohio State at #20 Michigan State - 3:30 pm
Why: This game could very well determine who gets the #2 spot in the BigTen behind Penn State. It'll be interesting to see if MSU can contain double threat Terrelle Pryor.
The Call: MSU earns the win late in the 4th quarter.
Stanford at UCLA - 4:00 pm
Why: Can the Cardinal improve to 4-1 in the Pac-10? Can UCLA salvage some dignity by not losing to the conference nerds?
The Call: Stanford by 14.
Michigan at #3 Penn State - 4:30 pm
Why: Penn State has lost their last 8 to Michigan. And they know it. Look for the Nittany Lions to show off why they're the best in the BigTen.
The Call: Penn State is going to put up basketball numbers. Michigan is going to put up baseball numbers.
#11 Missouri at #1 Texas - 8:00 pm
Why: Colt McCoy looks as good (if not better) than any QB out there right now. On the other side is star QB Chase Daniel. We might have a shootout down in Austin.
The Call: Texas by double figures, but don't be surprised to see Mizzou keep it close in the first half.
Indiana at Illinois - 8:00 pm
Why: Juice Williams is making a mockery of defenses everywhere. Illinois needs to prove last season wasn't a fluke and the Hoosiers are just the team to help them do it.
The Call: Juice Williams puts up twice as many points as the Hoosiers on his own. Illini win big.
#17 Virginia Tech at Boston College - 8:00 pm
Why: The Eagles are favored. You better believe the Hokies aren't happy about that. This is a make-or-break game for VTech. They're out to prove they deserve to play in January.
The Call: The Eagles keep it close, but it's the Hokies by a beak.
I'm sure I'm going to be eating my words on more than a few of these predictions come Monday, but until then, I stand by my picks.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Equality in Connecticut
Here's an interesting article about the Connecticut Supreme Court's gay marriage decision. The rationale employed by the Court in its decision seems to be one of breaking down the arguments against rather than promoting the arguments for gay marriage.
Yes, I know that The New Republic is unapologetically liberal, and while the bias is evident in the article, the analysis of the decision is sound.
Before reading the article, I had never considered the difference between taking the fight for gay marriage to the courts or the legislature, but Richard Just uses two examples (the women's rights movement in the 70s and the recent California Supreme Court decision on gay marriage) to illustrate the caution that should be taken with either approach.
Take a look.
Yes, I know that The New Republic is unapologetically liberal, and while the bias is evident in the article, the analysis of the decision is sound.
Before reading the article, I had never considered the difference between taking the fight for gay marriage to the courts or the legislature, but Richard Just uses two examples (the women's rights movement in the 70s and the recent California Supreme Court decision on gay marriage) to illustrate the caution that should be taken with either approach.
Take a look.
Monday, September 22, 2008
3 Musketeers Mint with Dark Chocolate
Holy crap, go try one NOW. I found these guys while I was waiting to pay for groceries yesterday morning. (Buy one, get one free? Don't mind if I do.) They're pretty much York Peppermint Patties in bar form and I'm surprised nobody has attempted this before. I'm not really a candy person, but if I had to spend the rest of my life with one candy bar in sickness and in health, this would be it.3 Musketeers Mint with Dark Chocolate, I think I love you.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Don't Panic
While checking my e-mail this morning, Gmail provided me with some very exciting news via Reuters. Author Eoin Colfer (of Artemis Fowl fame) will be writing a new book in Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series! (Adams passed away in 2001 from a heart attack at age 49.)
The book, titled And Another Thing..., continues the story from the previous five books The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Life, the Universe, and Everything, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish, and Mostly Harmless. And Another Thing... is scheduled for publication in October of 2009.
I can't speak for anyone else because I haven't been practicing my ventriloquism, but I'm terribly excited to get my hands on that book; so much so that I may even attempt to break in to Penguin's offices and "borrow" the manuscript. Keely, I'm expecting you to be my wingman ---wingwoman... no... partner in crime... hmmm, seems like a little much... teammate... yes--- teammate on this definitely illegal and potentially deadly mission. (On second thought, "teammate" sounds a little cheesy... ACCOMPLICE! Success.)
The book, titled And Another Thing..., continues the story from the previous five books The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Life, the Universe, and Everything, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish, and Mostly Harmless. And Another Thing... is scheduled for publication in October of 2009.
I can't speak for anyone else because I haven't been practicing my ventriloquism, but I'm terribly excited to get my hands on that book; so much so that I may even attempt to break in to Penguin's offices and "borrow" the manuscript. Keely, I'm expecting you to be my wingman ---wingwoman... no... partner in crime... hmmm, seems like a little much... teammate... yes--- teammate on this definitely illegal and potentially deadly mission. (On second thought, "teammate" sounds a little cheesy... ACCOMPLICE! Success.)
Monday, September 15, 2008
Taking on Water
Almost 14 inches of rain fell over the weekend. There's water in the basement all over the bar, on the floor, and a cracked pipe on a pump sprayed water all around our furnace room.
Fantastic.
I understand that Hurricane Ike was about the size of Texas, but did it really have to reach all the way up here, 1500 miles away, and dump rain on us? Combined with what it did to lovely places like Galveston and Houston, I'm more convinced than ever that we should start a War on Weather Systems. We've been attacked on our own soil for the third time in 2 weeks.
Ike, you have soiled the good name of former President Dwight D. Eisenhower. And for that, I'll never forgive you.
Fantastic.
I understand that Hurricane Ike was about the size of Texas, but did it really have to reach all the way up here, 1500 miles away, and dump rain on us? Combined with what it did to lovely places like Galveston and Houston, I'm more convinced than ever that we should start a War on Weather Systems. We've been attacked on our own soil for the third time in 2 weeks.
Ike, you have soiled the good name of former President Dwight D. Eisenhower. And for that, I'll never forgive you.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Checkout Lane
A few weeks ago, I was at the grocery store purchasing assorted... groceries. After grabbing some bell peppers, deli turkey, sea scallops, parmesan, heavy cream, bananas, milk, orange juice, butter, eggs, cereal, bread, gatorade, mustard, pretzels, almonds, pasta, tomatoes, onions, flour, gorgonzola, oranges, cilantro, ground beef, tortillas, whole chickens, limes, tortillas, lettuce, spinach, sugar, bagels, and hot sauce, I proceeded to the checkout lane and unloaded the contents of my cart onto the conveyor.
As I stood there waiting and pretending not to read and look at the pretty faces on the covers of People, Cosmo, Good Housekeeping, Us, and the National Enquirer, the man in front of me looked at me for a couple seconds. I thought nothing of it and quickly averted my gaze from "Tom Has Katie Trapped!" to Readers Digest as the man's items were being scanned.
"Excuse me, did you play tennis?" (It must've been my physique that gave me away.)
"Uhh, yeah, I did..."
"I knew I recognized you from somewhere! I'm Mike... I used to coach you at the club. Ajay, right? Sorry, didn't mean to weird you out there."
"OH! Yeah! How have you been? Still coaching a lot?"
"Well, I'm in real estate now, but I still run some youth stuff in summer at Burns Field. Are you still playing?"
"I haven't played competitively since high school, but I still like to get out from time to time."
3 items left to scan.
"If you get a chance, stop by Burns Field on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We'll hit around for a bit."
1 item left. This seems like a good time to wrap up this conversation.
"Definitely. I'll swing by after work sometime soon. It was good to see you."
"You too. Take it easy."
Timed it perfectly. He just needs to pay and walk his cart out to his car.
"PRICE CHECK ON YELLOW SQUASH."
Fuck.
We both spend the next 90 seconds standing there, silently staring at the gum and mints near the TV Guide.
"Okay, that'll be $78.39."
He pays and leaves with a nod.
And I never stop by Burns Field.
As I stood there waiting and pretending not to read and look at the pretty faces on the covers of People, Cosmo, Good Housekeeping, Us, and the National Enquirer, the man in front of me looked at me for a couple seconds. I thought nothing of it and quickly averted my gaze from "Tom Has Katie Trapped!" to Readers Digest as the man's items were being scanned.
"Excuse me, did you play tennis?" (It must've been my physique that gave me away.)
"Uhh, yeah, I did..."
"I knew I recognized you from somewhere! I'm Mike... I used to coach you at the club. Ajay, right? Sorry, didn't mean to weird you out there."
"OH! Yeah! How have you been? Still coaching a lot?"
"Well, I'm in real estate now, but I still run some youth stuff in summer at Burns Field. Are you still playing?"
"I haven't played competitively since high school, but I still like to get out from time to time."
3 items left to scan.
"If you get a chance, stop by Burns Field on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We'll hit around for a bit."
1 item left. This seems like a good time to wrap up this conversation.
"Definitely. I'll swing by after work sometime soon. It was good to see you."
"You too. Take it easy."
Timed it perfectly. He just needs to pay and walk his cart out to his car.
"PRICE CHECK ON YELLOW SQUASH."
Fuck.
We both spend the next 90 seconds standing there, silently staring at the gum and mints near the TV Guide.
"Okay, that'll be $78.39."
He pays and leaves with a nod.
And I never stop by Burns Field.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Baseball's Dirty Little Secret
Ozzie Guillen's comments about throwing at batters ignited a firestorm with MLB. But take a look at Jeff Passan's thoughts on the incidents from this past Sunday.
A lot of people are calling this baseball's dirty little secret. False. Baseball's dirty little secret was steroids. It was dirty. It was not little. But throwing at batters is a simple fact of baseball. It has always happened. It is always going to happen. No matter how much MLB tries to curb it, players and managers will do it. The real secret here is that Ozzie Guillen isn't just some foul-mouthed nut.
Guillen admitted to throwing at batters in the past but denied doing it against the Royals on Sunday. Looking at the circumstances, I believe him. He may cuss like a sailor and overreact at times, but he's the only one out there speaking the truth about what goes on in the league.
The bases were loaded with one out. Who in their right mind would tell a pitcher to bean a batter in that situation and allow a run to walk in? Not Ozzie, and I'm pretty sure no manager in the majors would be stupid enough to make that call.
Say what you will about Ozzie. Call him a brute for admitting to throwing at hitters in the past. But take a look at every other manager in the league and think of what they'd tell you if they were off the record.
A lot of people are calling this baseball's dirty little secret. False. Baseball's dirty little secret was steroids. It was dirty. It was not little. But throwing at batters is a simple fact of baseball. It has always happened. It is always going to happen. No matter how much MLB tries to curb it, players and managers will do it. The real secret here is that Ozzie Guillen isn't just some foul-mouthed nut.
Guillen admitted to throwing at batters in the past but denied doing it against the Royals on Sunday. Looking at the circumstances, I believe him. He may cuss like a sailor and overreact at times, but he's the only one out there speaking the truth about what goes on in the league.
"You think I’m going to bring somebody in to hit somebody and they’re going to throw a fastball 82 (mph) at the hands? I’m going to bring in my best guy and make sure he gets it done. That’s Major League Baseball. That’s baseball. That’s the baseball I grew up with. Not the shit they play right now."
The bases were loaded with one out. Who in their right mind would tell a pitcher to bean a batter in that situation and allow a run to walk in? Not Ozzie, and I'm pretty sure no manager in the majors would be stupid enough to make that call.
Say what you will about Ozzie. Call him a brute for admitting to throwing at hitters in the past. But take a look at every other manager in the league and think of what they'd tell you if they were off the record.
Monday, August 4, 2008
In-flight Beverages
I'm not a big fan of domestic flights. They're crowded, rarely on time, and most airlines won't give you a tiny packet of imitation Chex mix anymore. You can't even listen to your iPod during the most uncomfortable and unnerving parts of the flight. And God help you if you have your seat leaning back 4 miserable inches during takeoff or landing.
I don't blame the flight attendants. I really don't. Of course, there's always going to be one snotty one out there that gives the rest of them a bad name, but for the most part, they actually want your flight to be as pleasant as possible. But they have rules to enforce. Bags have to be under the seat in front of you. I get it. If shit hits the fan, that lady's 30 pound purse will smack you in the face. But it's just so damn unpleasant.
It's not like an international flight where they feed you (and airline food, Jerry Seinfeld jokes aside, has gotten much better) and you get a complimentary alcoholic beverage, plus various forms of entertainment to keep you somewhat relaxed during a long flight. That's how flights should be. An acknowledgement of the discomfort we're all experiencing (except you lucky bastards in first and business classes) and an attempt at mitigating the awfulness that is air travel. When it comes down to it, it's the little efforts that make the biggest difference in keeping passengers content.
That's why I love the in-flight beverage service. There are few things more refreshing to me than a can of Coca Cola served with a little plastic cup full of crystal clear ice cubes. (Root beer is one of the few things more refreshing, but I haven't seen it on planes in my lifetime.) Coke usually leaves me with a sugary, sticky feeling in my mouth on terra firma, but not so at 30,000+ feet. Maybe it's a psychosomatic thing. Maybe I'm just so desperate at that point for some sort of small nicety that I ignore my usual disdain for Coke and love the heck out of it. Maybe it has to do with enjoying air travel as a child; knowing that it'll never go back to the way it was and seeking to hold on to every happy tradition and memory I have of it. The "why" is not important. The fact that airlines still serve beverages in-flight seems to be their one saving grace as they cut costs, routes, and employees.
I can't take that can of Coke and ice for granted. It's too hard for me to ignore. I usually ask the flight attendant to wake me up for the beverage service if I'm sleeping because I hate the thought of missing the one part of the flight I truly relish.
When those flight attendants come around with that beverage cart, don't pass up their offer. Don't take the drink and leave it sitting on your tray table while the ice melts and you fall asleep. Cherish that drink. Savor it. The way the airline industry is going, it may not be around for too long.
And that's when I'll start taking Amtrak everywhere.
I don't blame the flight attendants. I really don't. Of course, there's always going to be one snotty one out there that gives the rest of them a bad name, but for the most part, they actually want your flight to be as pleasant as possible. But they have rules to enforce. Bags have to be under the seat in front of you. I get it. If shit hits the fan, that lady's 30 pound purse will smack you in the face. But it's just so damn unpleasant.
It's not like an international flight where they feed you (and airline food, Jerry Seinfeld jokes aside, has gotten much better) and you get a complimentary alcoholic beverage, plus various forms of entertainment to keep you somewhat relaxed during a long flight. That's how flights should be. An acknowledgement of the discomfort we're all experiencing (except you lucky bastards in first and business classes) and an attempt at mitigating the awfulness that is air travel. When it comes down to it, it's the little efforts that make the biggest difference in keeping passengers content.
That's why I love the in-flight beverage service. There are few things more refreshing to me than a can of Coca Cola served with a little plastic cup full of crystal clear ice cubes. (Root beer is one of the few things more refreshing, but I haven't seen it on planes in my lifetime.) Coke usually leaves me with a sugary, sticky feeling in my mouth on terra firma, but not so at 30,000+ feet. Maybe it's a psychosomatic thing. Maybe I'm just so desperate at that point for some sort of small nicety that I ignore my usual disdain for Coke and love the heck out of it. Maybe it has to do with enjoying air travel as a child; knowing that it'll never go back to the way it was and seeking to hold on to every happy tradition and memory I have of it. The "why" is not important. The fact that airlines still serve beverages in-flight seems to be their one saving grace as they cut costs, routes, and employees.
I can't take that can of Coke and ice for granted. It's too hard for me to ignore. I usually ask the flight attendant to wake me up for the beverage service if I'm sleeping because I hate the thought of missing the one part of the flight I truly relish.
When those flight attendants come around with that beverage cart, don't pass up their offer. Don't take the drink and leave it sitting on your tray table while the ice melts and you fall asleep. Cherish that drink. Savor it. The way the airline industry is going, it may not be around for too long.
And that's when I'll start taking Amtrak everywhere.
Monday, July 28, 2008
My Favorite Books That Were Adapted for the Screen
Seeing as one of my new year's resolutions was to read a book every two weeks, I thought it appropriate to share my feelings on all of the books I've read so far. However, I decided against that when I thought about how little I wanted to talk about books I did not enjoy. So, just the good ones, then. I thought about that a little more and figured out I'd probably sound all preachy if I posted one of those "Oh, you haven't read that?" posts. That's not to say I'm not pretentious and judgmental; just that I feel slightly guilty about it.
In any case, I settled on books I thoroughly enjoyed that were adapted for the screen. If interested, go read the book! If lazy, see the movie and tell people you read the book.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
While the movie differs significantly from the book, both are wonderfully entertaining. The film's casting was terrific with Martin Freeman (of BBC's The Office) as Arthur Dent, Mos Def brilliant as Ford Prefect, and Sam Rockwell as the incredibly hip Zaphod Beeblebrox.
Catch-22
I first read it during my junior year of high school and it's still my favorite book to read and re-read. To my discredit, I've never seen the film, but it features an all-star cast including Alan Arkin, Art Garfunkel, Bob Newhart, Martin Sheen, Jon Voight, and Orson Welles.
Breakfast of Champions
If you claim you've "read Vonnegut" because you read Slaughterhouse-Five in your freshman lit class at (insert large, impersonal state university), you're deluded. Breakfast of Champions is fantastic. And though the film leaves much to be desired, it's definitely still worth seeing (if you can't be bothered to read for a few hours).
Into the Wild
I owe much to my high school English teacher Mr. Horan for introducing me to Krakauer's writing during my freshman year. While it is a non-fiction work, Into the Wild grips like a novel telling a story of tragedy, ambition, and spirit (I just slapped myself for typing that). I've heard the movie is terrific, but I haven't watched it yet... despite it sitting next to my DVD player for 2 weeks. Sorry, Netflix. I'll send it back soon.
Note: Read Under the Banner of Heaven if you enjoyed Into the Wild.
That's all I've got for now. Go read. Go watch. I'll do the same.
In any case, I settled on books I thoroughly enjoyed that were adapted for the screen. If interested, go read the book! If lazy, see the movie and tell people you read the book.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
While the movie differs significantly from the book, both are wonderfully entertaining. The film's casting was terrific with Martin Freeman (of BBC's The Office) as Arthur Dent, Mos Def brilliant as Ford Prefect, and Sam Rockwell as the incredibly hip Zaphod Beeblebrox.
Catch-22
I first read it during my junior year of high school and it's still my favorite book to read and re-read. To my discredit, I've never seen the film, but it features an all-star cast including Alan Arkin, Art Garfunkel, Bob Newhart, Martin Sheen, Jon Voight, and Orson Welles.
Breakfast of Champions
If you claim you've "read Vonnegut" because you read Slaughterhouse-Five in your freshman lit class at (insert large, impersonal state university), you're deluded. Breakfast of Champions is fantastic. And though the film leaves much to be desired, it's definitely still worth seeing (if you can't be bothered to read for a few hours).
Into the Wild
I owe much to my high school English teacher Mr. Horan for introducing me to Krakauer's writing during my freshman year. While it is a non-fiction work, Into the Wild grips like a novel telling a story of tragedy, ambition, and spirit (I just slapped myself for typing that). I've heard the movie is terrific, but I haven't watched it yet... despite it sitting next to my DVD player for 2 weeks. Sorry, Netflix. I'll send it back soon.
Note: Read Under the Banner of Heaven if you enjoyed Into the Wild.
That's all I've got for now. Go read. Go watch. I'll do the same.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Check It Out
I stumbled upon this today. Enjoy.
http://rolandsaintlaurent.blogspot.com/2008/05/tips-for-dealing-with-end-of-world.html
http://rolandsaintlaurent.blogspot.com/2008/05/tips-for-dealing-with-end-of-world.html
Monday, June 16, 2008
Things You Should Try in 2008: Part 2
The list goes on.
garfield minus garfield
Ever noticed how Jon Arbuckle is the most depressing comic character ever? You will now.
http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/
Love it.
Gorgonzola Buffalo Burgers
Get creative with burgers. Buffalo meat is wonderful for burgers (it tends to get dry quickly in steak form if you don't keep a vigilant eye on temperature) and when combined with gorgonzola, my goodness. Absolutely delicious. I recommend sweet onions and fresh spinach leaves to balance the saltiness of the cheese, but do whatever you want with it. Your burgers should be unique.
Recipe from Whole Foods
Note: You can get ground buffalo meat at Whole Foods. And no, it does not come from endangered bison. These are farm-raised, free range, grass fed bison. Enjoy.
My Secret Public Journal - Mike Birbiglia
Go get this album. It's ridiculously funny.
garfield minus garfield
Ever noticed how Jon Arbuckle is the most depressing comic character ever? You will now.
http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/
Love it.
Gorgonzola Buffalo Burgers
Get creative with burgers. Buffalo meat is wonderful for burgers (it tends to get dry quickly in steak form if you don't keep a vigilant eye on temperature) and when combined with gorgonzola, my goodness. Absolutely delicious. I recommend sweet onions and fresh spinach leaves to balance the saltiness of the cheese, but do whatever you want with it. Your burgers should be unique.
Recipe from Whole Foods
Note: You can get ground buffalo meat at Whole Foods. And no, it does not come from endangered bison. These are farm-raised, free range, grass fed bison. Enjoy.
My Secret Public Journal - Mike Birbiglia
Go get this album. It's ridiculously funny.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Things You Shouldn't Try in 2008
Following up on my list of Things You Should Try in 2008, this is a list of things to avoid trying when possible. While I discourage some of these items/activities based on experience, a couple are based purely on speculation (and common sense).
Those Chicken Wraps from Either McDonald's or Wendy's
What a total letdown. Both places incorporate warm chicken surrounded by cold lettuce, cold cheese, and a tortilla (not warm). The tortilla ends up getting cold from the the cheese and lettuce and the chicken ends up lukewarm at best by the time you get it out of the wrapper resulting in immense disappointment. Sack up and go get a real wrap from a deli.
Blowing Through Your Paycheck
I've done this twice. Once around here and again in New York. While I don't recommend completely spending your paycheck on a trip somewhere, I don't discourage it. There's no harm with having some out of town fun once in a while. Just don't make it a habit. However, if you're spending your entire paycheck around where you live, something's seriously wrong. Chances are you're drinking too much, eating too much expensive food, and buying too many unnecessary things.
Crack
Just don't.
Walking Up Six Flights of Stairs When an Elevator Is Nearby
I made this mistake in New York because I didn't realize an elevator was nearby. I was also carrying a 25 pound backpack and a small suitcase. Lesson learned. Always look for an elevator. If one is not present, complain, sit around waiting for one to be put in, then give up and go somewhere else when you realize nobody heard you complain and nobody would care if they did hear you.
Note: It's acceptable to climb up to 3 flights of stairs. But not often.
As I continually do things I shouldn't, additions to this list will pop up periodically.
Those Chicken Wraps from Either McDonald's or Wendy's
What a total letdown. Both places incorporate warm chicken surrounded by cold lettuce, cold cheese, and a tortilla (not warm). The tortilla ends up getting cold from the the cheese and lettuce and the chicken ends up lukewarm at best by the time you get it out of the wrapper resulting in immense disappointment. Sack up and go get a real wrap from a deli.
Blowing Through Your Paycheck
I've done this twice. Once around here and again in New York. While I don't recommend completely spending your paycheck on a trip somewhere, I don't discourage it. There's no harm with having some out of town fun once in a while. Just don't make it a habit. However, if you're spending your entire paycheck around where you live, something's seriously wrong. Chances are you're drinking too much, eating too much expensive food, and buying too many unnecessary things.
Crack
Just don't.
Walking Up Six Flights of Stairs When an Elevator Is Nearby
I made this mistake in New York because I didn't realize an elevator was nearby. I was also carrying a 25 pound backpack and a small suitcase. Lesson learned. Always look for an elevator. If one is not present, complain, sit around waiting for one to be put in, then give up and go somewhere else when you realize nobody heard you complain and nobody would care if they did hear you.
Note: It's acceptable to climb up to 3 flights of stairs. But not often.
As I continually do things I shouldn't, additions to this list will pop up periodically.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Tips for Being a Decent Person: #3
#3: Admitting when you're wrong.
While it is a widely accepted fact that Decent People are almost never wrong, we occasionally slip up. A couple examples include:
While it is a widely accepted fact that Decent People are almost never wrong, we occasionally slip up. A couple examples include:
- Bill Clinton lying about getting a hummer.
- 80% of Robert Downey, Jr.'s life.
- Robin Ventura charging the mound after getting beaned by Nolan Ryan.
I am no exception. My picks for the 2008 Kentucky Derby were atrocious. I apologize to my bank account for not betting on Big Brown. It was a silly, misguided decision fueled by a bit of hubris. I've since realized that while I am indeed a sports genius, I lack sufficient knowledge of horse racing to be making picks and suggesting them to other people. For that, I am deeply sorry. And of course, now I can tell you not to do what I did. Because I'm a Decent Person and it's my reponsibility to do so.
Note: It's still acceptable to put some money down on ponies and lose. Just make sure you admit to it and regret it later. Also, while I'll no longer be making suggestions for horse races, don't rule out Big Brown to take the Triple Crown.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Tips for Being a Decent Person: #2
#2 - Bet on horses occasionally.
Yes, occasional gambling is part of being a decent person. No, cockfighting is not included.
Horse racing is the Sport of Kings. Think about it this way: Kings are pretty decent people. And just look at all the well-dressed racists that attend the Kentucky Derby each year in suits (seersucker is wonderfully appropriate) and large, fancy hats. Racism and rampant alcoholism aside, these are decent people.
I know making it down to the Kentucky Derby each year is not feasible for nearly half of the general populace in this country, so there's no harm in attending horse races locally. If you happen to live around Chicago though, the one special place to go is Arlington for the Arlington Million. It's a wonderful event, and though you're surrounded by Midwesterners, feel free to wear your fancy hats, ladies.
Like almost half of America, I will not be able to make it to the Derby this year, mostly because I have a job, and that job doesn't pay me enough to be able to afford to take time off and travel to a horse race. That's why I, along with several friends, will be placing bets at the local Off-Track Betting facility (just 5 minutes from my home) and then attending an impromptu Derby party at a local watering hole. Now, I don't know much about horse racing, but after skimming some very superficial information about the horses running the main event tomorrow, I've decided to share my picks:
Court Vision: This horse, despite having a fairly mundane name, is a solid pick to take one of the top three spots at the Derby. Court Vision is a terrific sprinter with some good late speed.
Z Fortune: Three wins and two second place finishes in six races. If this horse gets a decent start, it'll be an interesting finish.
Adriano: Check out this pedigree: Secretariat ---> Weekend Surprise ---> Seattle Slew ---> A.P. Indy ---> Adriano. That's equine royalty.
Denis of Cork: Good distance pedigree with a smart jockey (Calvin Borel, winner with Street Sense last year) aboard. Not a breakout horse, but a decent pick to show.
Gayego: This horse won the Arkansas Derby, which has often been a litmus test for elite horses. Jockey Mike Smith won the 2005 Kentucky Derby at 50-1 odds on Giacomo.
Recapturetheglory: Coming off a 4-length victory at the Illinois Derby, this horse has a decent shot to show with two wins, a second, and two third place finishes in six starts. Early breakaway speed might come in handy if the pack clogs up a little in the middle/rear. The question is, does Gayego have enough endurance to hold off any late sprinters?
Colonel John: A late sprinter and terrific distance horse. While the odds are a lot better (currently 4-1), I won't be putting too much down on Colonel John, but it'd be foolish to completely ignore this horse.
Notice, I haven't mentioned Big Brown yet. I'm pretty skeptical about this horse despite winning all three career starts so far. Two quarter cracks have turned me away along with a poor post position. If Big Brown doesn't get a good early jump, mediocrity is a very distinct possibility come Saturday, which will be much to the chagrin of trainer Richard Dutrow, Jr., who has spent much of the week expressing his confidence in the horse.
Come tomorrow, I'll be dropping about $100 on these horses. Feel free to spend up to $400 on Derby bets while still holding on to the title of a Decent Person. Any more than that, and you're bordering on a gambling addiction and decent people aren't addicted to anything but tobacco, alcohol, cheesesteak, and women. But that will be covered in later posts.
Good luck.
Yes, occasional gambling is part of being a decent person. No, cockfighting is not included.
Horse racing is the Sport of Kings. Think about it this way: Kings are pretty decent people. And just look at all the well-dressed racists that attend the Kentucky Derby each year in suits (seersucker is wonderfully appropriate) and large, fancy hats. Racism and rampant alcoholism aside, these are decent people.
I know making it down to the Kentucky Derby each year is not feasible for nearly half of the general populace in this country, so there's no harm in attending horse races locally. If you happen to live around Chicago though, the one special place to go is Arlington for the Arlington Million. It's a wonderful event, and though you're surrounded by Midwesterners, feel free to wear your fancy hats, ladies.
Like almost half of America, I will not be able to make it to the Derby this year, mostly because I have a job, and that job doesn't pay me enough to be able to afford to take time off and travel to a horse race. That's why I, along with several friends, will be placing bets at the local Off-Track Betting facility (just 5 minutes from my home) and then attending an impromptu Derby party at a local watering hole. Now, I don't know much about horse racing, but after skimming some very superficial information about the horses running the main event tomorrow, I've decided to share my picks:
Court Vision: This horse, despite having a fairly mundane name, is a solid pick to take one of the top three spots at the Derby. Court Vision is a terrific sprinter with some good late speed.
Z Fortune: Three wins and two second place finishes in six races. If this horse gets a decent start, it'll be an interesting finish.
Adriano: Check out this pedigree: Secretariat ---> Weekend Surprise ---> Seattle Slew ---> A.P. Indy ---> Adriano. That's equine royalty.
Denis of Cork: Good distance pedigree with a smart jockey (Calvin Borel, winner with Street Sense last year) aboard. Not a breakout horse, but a decent pick to show.
Gayego: This horse won the Arkansas Derby, which has often been a litmus test for elite horses. Jockey Mike Smith won the 2005 Kentucky Derby at 50-1 odds on Giacomo.
Recapturetheglory: Coming off a 4-length victory at the Illinois Derby, this horse has a decent shot to show with two wins, a second, and two third place finishes in six starts. Early breakaway speed might come in handy if the pack clogs up a little in the middle/rear. The question is, does Gayego have enough endurance to hold off any late sprinters?
Colonel John: A late sprinter and terrific distance horse. While the odds are a lot better (currently 4-1), I won't be putting too much down on Colonel John, but it'd be foolish to completely ignore this horse.
Notice, I haven't mentioned Big Brown yet. I'm pretty skeptical about this horse despite winning all three career starts so far. Two quarter cracks have turned me away along with a poor post position. If Big Brown doesn't get a good early jump, mediocrity is a very distinct possibility come Saturday, which will be much to the chagrin of trainer Richard Dutrow, Jr., who has spent much of the week expressing his confidence in the horse.
Come tomorrow, I'll be dropping about $100 on these horses. Feel free to spend up to $400 on Derby bets while still holding on to the title of a Decent Person. Any more than that, and you're bordering on a gambling addiction and decent people aren't addicted to anything but tobacco, alcohol, cheesesteak, and women. But that will be covered in later posts.
Good luck.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Tips for Being a Decent Person: #1
#1 - Always carry at least $71 in hard currency on your person.
I understand that for many people credit/debit cards have eliminated the need to carry cash and, where they haven't, ATMs are most often within walking distance (or at most, a short bicycle ride). However, should any/all of these systems fail, why let yourself become a victim of circumstance? Credit card machines will malfunction. ATMs will malfunction. Make sure that you can still purchase goods or services that you want and, in turn, the provider of said goods or services will make sure he can provide you with change for your purchase.
Why $71? Because that's all I have on my person today. I would've said $83, but as I walked out of the house this morning with $12 less than that, I settled on $71. Really, anything over $53 will do. It's just nice to have some extra for unforseen expenses/extortion. Keep $53 in your shirt or jacket pocket, and the rest in pants or a sock. Should a situation arise in which you are being extorted, you can always reach into your shirt or jacket and say "Damn, this is all I have." It's convincing because the extorter sees you pull everything out of your pocket and hand it over and assumes that is where you keep all your money. However, after the situation is diffused with an exchange of cash, you'll still have money left over for other unforseen expenses/extortions... and a visit to the Dollar Menu at McDonald's.
Note: This also comes in handy if your name is Anthony. Ajay doesn't like paying for your lunch when your busted ass credit card doesn't work.
I understand that for many people credit/debit cards have eliminated the need to carry cash and, where they haven't, ATMs are most often within walking distance (or at most, a short bicycle ride). However, should any/all of these systems fail, why let yourself become a victim of circumstance? Credit card machines will malfunction. ATMs will malfunction. Make sure that you can still purchase goods or services that you want and, in turn, the provider of said goods or services will make sure he can provide you with change for your purchase.
Why $71? Because that's all I have on my person today. I would've said $83, but as I walked out of the house this morning with $12 less than that, I settled on $71. Really, anything over $53 will do. It's just nice to have some extra for unforseen expenses/extortion. Keep $53 in your shirt or jacket pocket, and the rest in pants or a sock. Should a situation arise in which you are being extorted, you can always reach into your shirt or jacket and say "Damn, this is all I have." It's convincing because the extorter sees you pull everything out of your pocket and hand it over and assumes that is where you keep all your money. However, after the situation is diffused with an exchange of cash, you'll still have money left over for other unforseen expenses/extortions... and a visit to the Dollar Menu at McDonald's.
Note: This also comes in handy if your name is Anthony. Ajay doesn't like paying for your lunch when your busted ass credit card doesn't work.
Ten Things to Do While Visiting India
1. Immediately regret going to India.
2. Thank God for the malaria pills you've been taking after you see the size of the mosquitoes.
3. Realize that nobody in India above age 12 wears shorts.
4. Hang out in the foothills of the Himalayas with European backpackers.
5. Sleep with female European backpackers.
6. Be amazed at how much food you can get for $5.
7. Be full after only $1 of food, then feel bad for buying $4 more and not finishing it.
8. Always look like a foreigner no matter how hard you try.
9. Give up on trying to experience the "real" India and stay in a fancy Western hotel.
10. Try not to get food poisoning.
Bonus:
11. Try not to constantly laugh at the silly accent.
2. Thank God for the malaria pills you've been taking after you see the size of the mosquitoes.
3. Realize that nobody in India above age 12 wears shorts.
4. Hang out in the foothills of the Himalayas with European backpackers.
5. Sleep with female European backpackers.
6. Be amazed at how much food you can get for $5.
7. Be full after only $1 of food, then feel bad for buying $4 more and not finishing it.
8. Always look like a foreigner no matter how hard you try.
9. Give up on trying to experience the "real" India and stay in a fancy Western hotel.
10. Try not to get food poisoning.
Bonus:
11. Try not to constantly laugh at the silly accent.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Things You Should Try in 2008
Every so often, something comes along that makes me happier than the usual jovial person that I am. I'd be remiss if I didn't take note of these things and suggest them to friends, family, coworkers, enemies, and strangers. This marks the beginning and the early stages of what will be a rather extensive compilation of things I recommend this year.
Lays Classic Potato Chips
These guys have been around forever, but it seems they've made them just a hair thicker recently which has done wonders for the crispiness. Put down the bag of organic baked whole wheat artichoke-flavored crap you're eating right now and give these a shot.
Note: Don't try them unless you have teeth. Newborns, I'm looking at you.
"American Boy" by Estelle, featuring Kanye West
I just can't get enough of this song. Although if it's played at the wedding on Saturday, it might be ruined.
Gatorade Tiger
Almost everyone who has talked to me in the past 2 weeks knows that I'm now obsessed with this stuff. So far I've had either a Red Drive or Cool Fusion every morning after my bike ride (or after a rough night at the bar) and it's wonderful. I haven't brought myself to try the purple variety yet, but I highly doubt I will since i hate grape-flavored anything (save jam).
Note: Not just for athletes. If it's good enough for Woodrow "Tiger" Woods, it's probably good enough for you.
Al's Pizzeria
I've had something obscene like 5 or 6 lunches from this place in the past week. And I haven't spent more than $6.00 for any of those meals. A $2.75 individual sausage pizza and a $2.50 cheese pizza puff (BIG and more doughy than greasy, like a pint-sized calzone) will leave you satisfied until Memorial Day. If you'd like, a fountain drink is just $1.25. Plus, the food comes up pretty quick; I just go up there, order, and 3 minutes later, I'm out the door with lunch in hand.
Note: It's at 87th (Boughton) and Woodward in Woodridge. I know there are 2 more locations, another pizzeria and a more dinner-oriented restaurant, in North Riverside and Cicero, respectively.
That's all I've got for now, but I guarantee there will be more within the next couple weeks when I completely get sick of all these things.
Lays Classic Potato Chips
These guys have been around forever, but it seems they've made them just a hair thicker recently which has done wonders for the crispiness. Put down the bag of organic baked whole wheat artichoke-flavored crap you're eating right now and give these a shot.
Note: Don't try them unless you have teeth. Newborns, I'm looking at you.
"American Boy" by Estelle, featuring Kanye West
I just can't get enough of this song. Although if it's played at the wedding on Saturday, it might be ruined.
Gatorade Tiger
Almost everyone who has talked to me in the past 2 weeks knows that I'm now obsessed with this stuff. So far I've had either a Red Drive or Cool Fusion every morning after my bike ride (or after a rough night at the bar) and it's wonderful. I haven't brought myself to try the purple variety yet, but I highly doubt I will since i hate grape-flavored anything (save jam).
Note: Not just for athletes. If it's good enough for Woodrow "Tiger" Woods, it's probably good enough for you.
Al's Pizzeria
I've had something obscene like 5 or 6 lunches from this place in the past week. And I haven't spent more than $6.00 for any of those meals. A $2.75 individual sausage pizza and a $2.50 cheese pizza puff (BIG and more doughy than greasy, like a pint-sized calzone) will leave you satisfied until Memorial Day. If you'd like, a fountain drink is just $1.25. Plus, the food comes up pretty quick; I just go up there, order, and 3 minutes later, I'm out the door with lunch in hand.
Note: It's at 87th (Boughton) and Woodward in Woodridge. I know there are 2 more locations, another pizzeria and a more dinner-oriented restaurant, in North Riverside and Cicero, respectively.
That's all I've got for now, but I guarantee there will be more within the next couple weeks when I completely get sick of all these things.
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