Ten Things to Do While Visiting India

1. Immediately regret going to India.
2. Thank God for the malaria pills you've been taking after you see the size of the mosquitoes.
3. Realize that nobody in India above age 12 wears shorts.
4. Hang out in the foothills of the Himalayas with European backpackers.
5. Sleep with female European backpackers.
6. Be amazed at how much food you can get for $5.
7. Be full after only $1 of food, then feel bad for buying $4 more and not finishing it.
8. Always look like a foreigner no matter how hard you try.
9. Give up on trying to experience the "real" India and stay in a fancy Western hotel.
10. Try not to get food poisoning.

Bonus:
11. Try not to constantly laugh at the silly accent.